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Tips for Asking About My Adoption Story

Responses from the adoptee community


Slide descriptions:

Slide one:

Pink watercolor background with gray flower outlines in bottom right corner. Translucent dusty pink box in the center. Large white text inside the box: “How can someone not adopted politely ask about your adoption story?” Small gray line, and in smaller text: “Responses from the adoptee community.”

Slide two:

Pale pink floral background. Three boxes of translucent color. Purple box: “There's no right way 'cause everyone's different. Just come open and caring and hope for the best.” Magenta box: “Honestly, I'm fine with any form! A question shows interest and I appreciate anyone wanting to learn more.” Green box: “Asking if I am comfortable sharing and using respectful terms (biological, adopted, foster, etc.).”

Slide three:

Pale pink floral background with a few darker pink flowers. Three boxes of translucent color. Bright green box: “Ask, but don't pressure them to share if they're not comfortable.” Yellow box: “Just asking is what's really important.” Blue box: “Being genuine and not prying is best. Also don't ask us in a super public way.”

Slide four:

Pale pink floral background. Three boxes of translucent color. Blue box: “Be careful with word choice, and avoid racist terminology.” Red box: "I am very open about it when people ask and it really depends on who you are. It’s actually more about tone and the type of questions because some people say instead of “can you tell me about your adoption?” they say stuff like “Are you sad you don’t have a dad?” Or they use the word “abandoned” or call biological parents “real parents” like “do you know where your real parents are?”


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