Adoptee spotlight: Lily Lin

Jiangxi, China -> North Carolina, United States

Hello! My name is Lily, and my Chinese name is 福林峰 (Fú línfēng). I was born in Jiangxi, China, where I was found on the steps of an orphanage with a birth certificate and nothing else. After a year of being in a foster family, I was adopted at 1 year old, and brought to North Carolina, where I've spent all of my life. 

Being an adopted Chinese American has been very difficult for me, even when I was younger. Back then, I knew I was different, but I never truly thought about it too much. It was only when I entered my teenage years that I began to have a racial identity crisis. Growing up in a white family and a mainly white community, it has been tough to find where I belong. I feel too "Americanized" for my Asian communities, but too Asian to be in my white communities. And the creeping fear that I don't look "Chinese" enough for people to know also brings me down a lot. The pressure to live up to the East Asian beauty standards and stereotypes makes everything even harder. I feel as though I don't fit in anywhere, regardless of who I'm with or where I go.  

When it comes to making other Asian friends, I still feel very disconnected from them as an adoptee. Of course, we can relate to the stereotypes and racism we get as Asians, but I feel as if none of them can truly understand what it's like not to know their birth families. Many of them come from rich Asian backgrounds and are entuned with their culture, but I'm not, and it makes me feel more insecure. As I've gotten older, I have also noticed the favoritism when it comes to Asians, especially East Asians, making this crisis get deeper, and I don't feel good enough as an East Asian for others to like me.

"My family has always been supportive of me and helped me with my struggles throughout my life, and I could ask for nothing more."

My family has always been supportive of me and helped me with my struggles throughout my life, and I could ask for nothing more. But like many others, we get very crass questions such as "Oh, is your husband Asian?", "Who are your 'real' parents?", and "Are they your grandparents?" Because of this, I ignored that I was Chinese and tried to be like everyone else until I entered high school. Only then did I start bringing myself to learn more of my culture, province, and country. This has helped me in many ways feel more connected to my heritage and has helped me feel proud of my race and where I came from. 

As of now, I'm a full-time student, but I was also in the directing and voice acting industry for 3 years and switched over to writing and screenwriting fully. Now I spend my time writing my book, which will be released next year, creating different media of art, and writing scripts. My journey hasn't ended, but I'm excited to learn more about myself as a Chinese adoptee and learning more about my Chinese culture. Thank you for listening!