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Answering Questions Adoptees are Often Asked

Asked by those not adopted, answered by adoptees!


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Slide one:

Answering Questions Adoptees are Often Asked. Asked by those not adopted, answered by us!

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Question: Do adoptees want to have contact with their birth families?


  • I would love to know who my biological parents are, but I also don't want to. - Chloe

  • I'd like to have answers about why I wasn't kept, but I'm not sure I'd want contact beyond that. I was placed at the orphanage when I was a day old, so they'd practically be strangers to me. Everyone feels differently about this though. - Téa

  • I would, but I know there's a slim chance for me to contact my birth family. - Monica

  • Yes, I just want to know who I resemble and the culture. But I don't know if I would want to be close. - Ella

  • When I was younger, I had no interest in my birth family. Looking back, that probably came from a place of hurt. I did a heritage tour to China in 2017, and I was just past the age cut off to see my records, because they said they didn’t have 1996 and before in the computers. It’s something I think about more often now. - Katie B.

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Question: How do you feel about DNA testing to find biological family members?


  • I did it. It can be rewarding but also disheartening. - Ella

  • I've yet to take a DNA test, but I would like to. The chances of finding someone I'm related to are slim, so I have conflicted feelings about trying, since I have a great family that adopted me. I'd be more likely to do a test to learn my ancestry and geographical DNA. - Téa

  • I like it but am scared to find my birth parents. - Lily

  • I find it really awesome that science allows us to have this cool opportunity. - Monica

  • I've done DNA testing but not to find biological family members. But I thought it was cool. - Katie K.

Slide four:

Question: What are some adoption-related stereotypes you face?


  • Them: "So you can speak Mandarin?!" Me: "A few words. Does that count?" - Bronwyn

  • That our mothers were poor, lazy, drug addicts. Also that being adopted is always great/better for the kid. - Rebecca

  • Not necessarily a stereotype, but people saying "real" parents, instead of "biological." - Elisa

  • When I was little, I attended a mainly white school and was the only one that's adopted. A lot of kids would ask me if I knew my biological parents, knew Mandarin, if my parents were white, if I knew my "real" parents. My parents were asked how much I cost, if they bought me and that I was lucky to get adopted. - Mai Li

Slide five:

Question: Do some adoptees have difficulties dating because of imposter syndrome?


  • Possibly! I have been struggling with imposter syndrome, and I'm seeing how it has effected me. - Mia

  • Oh yes. Dating a man my ethnicity felt like I was fetishizing him at first. - Rebecca

  • Yes, definitely. I haven't tried dating yet, but I do have these thoughts. - Ella

  • For sure, but we need to remember that true love will outstand the odds. (Speaking from a girl that has also had childhood leukemia three times, which adds a whole new dimension.) Plus, they'll be able to celebrate more transitions, which is always exciting, 'cause who doesn't like Lunar New Year?! - Bronwyn


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