Asked by those not adopted, answered by adoptees!
Originally published August 28, 2021.
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Slide one:
Answering Questions Adoptees are Often Asked. Asked by those not adopted, answered by us!
Slide two:
Question: Do adoptees want to have contact with their birth families?
Answers:
I would love to know who my biological parents are, but I also don't want to. - Chloe
I'd like to have answers about why I wasn't kept, but I'm not sure I'd want contact beyond that. I was placed at the orphanage when I was a day old, so they'd practically be strangers to me. Everyone feels differently about this though. - Téa
I would, but I know there's a slim chance for me to contact my birth family. - Monica
Yes, I just want to know who I resemble and the culture. But I don't know if I would want to be close. - Ella
When I was younger, I had no interest in my birth family. Looking back, that probably came from a place of hurt. I did a heritage tour to China in 2017, and I was just past the age cut off to see my records, because they said they didn’t have 1996 and before in the computers. It’s something I think about more often now. - Katie B.
Slide three:
Question: How do you feel about DNA testing to find biological family members?
Answers:
I did it. It can be rewarding but also disheartening. - Ella
I've yet to take a DNA test, but I would like to. The chances of finding someone I'm related to are slim, so I have conflicted feelings about trying, since I have a great family that adopted me. I'd be more likely to do a test to learn my ancestry and geographical DNA. - Téa
I like it but am scared to find my birth parents. - Lily
I find it really awesome that science allows us to have this cool opportunity. - Monica
I've done DNA testing but not to find biological family members. But I thought it was cool. - Katie K.
Slide four:
Question: What are some adoption-related stereotypes you face?
Answers:
Them: "So you can speak Mandarin?!" Me: "A few words. Does that count?" - Bronwyn
That our mothers were poor, lazy, drug addicts. Also that being adopted is always great/better for the kid. - Rebecca
Not necessarily a stereotype, but people saying "real" parents, instead of "biological." - Elisa
When I was little, I attended a mainly white school and was the only one that's adopted. A lot of kids would ask me if I knew my biological parents, knew Mandarin, if my parents were white, if I knew my "real" parents. My parents were asked how much I cost, if they bought me and that I was lucky to get adopted. - Mai Li
Slide five:
Question: Do some adoptees have difficulties dating because of imposter syndrome?
Answers:
Possibly! I have been struggling with imposter syndrome, and I'm seeing how it has effected me. - Mia
Oh yes. Dating a man my ethnicity felt like I was fetishizing him at first. - Rebecca
Yes, definitely. I haven't tried dating yet, but I do have these thoughts. - Ella
For sure, but we need to remember that true love will outstand the odds. (Speaking from a girl that has also had childhood leukemia three times, which adds a whole new dimension.) Plus, they'll be able to celebrate more transitions, which is always exciting, 'cause who doesn't like Lunar New Year?! - Bronwyn
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